


A Kiss May Be Grand

by nagi_schwarz



Series: Prompt Fills 2018 [23]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Crack, Multi, Stealth Crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-05-04 00:24:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14580906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nagi_schwarz/pseuds/nagi_schwarz
Summary: Written for the crack comment_fic prompt: "Stargate Atlantis, Evan Lorne/Any, kissing gives him orgasms."Atlantis, the SGC's penal colony, throws a lot of rules out the window in its first year, starting with DADT. The new arrivals in the second year learn to fit in.





	A Kiss May Be Grand

Atlantis was the SGC’s penal colony. People with black marks - like John - and people the SGC didn’t like - like Rodney - had ended up there at the outset. When it looked like the expedition was a one-way trip, John, Rodney, Elizabeth, Beckett, and Heightmeyer made an executive decision: some rules could go out the window. Like DADT. 

As it turned out, Atlantis was also a haven for the Friends of Dorothy, the ones looking to escape the close scrutiny of the SGC. Markham and Stackhouse. Bates and pretty much anyone.

Rodney and John.

And then Earth reestablished contact with the SGC, and Atlantis’s senior command had to make a choice. Which rules should they reinstate? Earth was watching.

Except Earth was still using Atlantis as its penal colony, for the disliked - Cadman, too perky and girlish for the Marines - and the ones with black marks - Lorne, for having mightily disregarded science protocol one time and getting one of his men killed.

So senior command decided - what the hell. Atlantis was theirs. If Earth wanted to stop heroic men and women from constant battle with space vampires and nuclear-capable fake-Amish because of who they liked to fuck, well, they were crazy.

Given that everyone knew that O’Neill and Jackson had been doing it since about day one (and Jackson took regular trips to DC for booty calls), the SGC was pretty laissez-faire about a lot of rules, especially with all the homosexual and polyamorous weddings that went down on alien planets in the name of diplomacy and trading. Add to that the increasingly international nature of the whole Stargate venture, and so long as people were doing their jobs, the SGC and IOA were willing to overlook a whole lot.

Of course, Atlantis had been its own entity for a year, cut off from Earth, was a little bit _Lord of the Flies_ for the new personnel who shipped over on the _Daedalus._ The trick was to ease them into the Atlantis way of things.

Cadman didn’t ease in. She dove right in, tapped Beckett her first week on base and Radek the second and gave pretty much every scientist who caught her eye a fair shake. A lot of the other Marines followed her example, and Heightmeyer was pleased that the new personnel were integrating so well.

(How Caldwell remained oblivious, no one knew, and no one wanted to find out.)

John had privately thought it utterly insane that the initial chain of command for Atlantis as established by the SGC had been a full bird O-6, John an O-4 but removed from the chain of command, and then Ford, an O-2. So he was pleased when he made O-5 and the SGC gave him Lorne as an O-4, plus a slew of other O-3s and O-2s and O-1s to round things out, and some NCOs to keep the Marines in line. Lorne was a model O-4, always on top of his paperwork, keeping supply lines running smoothly, even taking some of the paperwork burden off of John.

John liked him. He had great deadpan, could stop Rodney in his tracks sometimes when he was on a real screed.

Lorne was boring as hell, though. Never went drinking with the other officers. Never joined in with the communal trips to the giant hot tubs that had been discovered on one of the lower levels. Never even sat down for a good round of team-building with Spin the Bottle or Truth or Dare. He smiled politely, called John  _ sir, _ and retreated to his quarters alone at the end of his shift.

He was an artist, his teammates reported. He drew a lot.

“Maybe he’s ace,” Cadman suggested one night during O-club strip poker.

“You think?” Toriel asked.

“We could just ask him,” Dorsey said. “He’s never seemed prudish or anything, like when I invited him to that gang-bang with Charlie Company Fire Team Twelve. Just said ‘no thanks’ and moved along.”

Negley wriggled out of her bra. “True. I mean, if he’s ace, no big deal. We’re all open about stuff.”

“Who’s gonna ask him?” Crown was eyeing his hand of cards with a worryingly blank expression.

“You should,” Toriel said to John.

“No, I don’t want to pressure him.”

“Maybe Dorsey,” Ronon suggested. Even though he wasn’t an officer, he was invited to strip poker every time, because he was terrible at poker and always the first one to get naked. “He’s a major too, right?”

Dorsey set down his cards with a flourish. Full house. “Sure, I can do that.”

The next week, at Spin the Bottle (which was always mixed, soldiers and civilians alike - they used one of Rodney’s empty Molson’s bottles), Dorsey reported.

“He says he’s not ace.”

“Is he straight?” Cadman asked. “I’ve looked at his ass. I’d tap that.”

“He didn’t say.”

“Well, ask,” Toriel insisted.

The next week, at Truth or Dare, Dorsey returned with more to report. “He says he’s pan.”

Dr. Maxwell perked up. “Really?” She was trans.

“Is he coming to hang out with us or not?” Crown asked.

“Don’t think so. He keeps himself to himself.” Dorsey shrugged.

“Well, that’s fine,” John said. “The whole point of Atlantis is that anything goes, because tomorrow we might get eaten by Wraith.”

“Hear, hear!” Radek cried, and raised a little beaker full of homemade vodka.

Everyone drank.

But John was curious, and he didn’t want Lorne feeling pressured, so he caught the guy alone, when Lorne was bringing him requisition forms to sign.

“Look, Lorne, if you don’t want to join in with us, it’s fine. Really. What you do with your body is your business. But if you’re - wanting to learn, Kusanagi’s great at shibari, and Ambrose is a trained dom, and Biro apparently minored in sexology. Didn’t even realize that was a thing.”

Lorne said, “Thanks, sir. I appreciate it. I’m just not that into sex.”

“Oh?”

“I prefer kissing.”

John stared at him. “Just kissing?”

Lorne nodded. 

“Any particular reason?”

“Well, I come just from kissing, so, sex just kinda never happens.”

John stared at him. Then, before he realized what he was doing, he said, “Can I kiss you?”

Lorne said, “I thought you’d never ask.”

John reached out, reeled him in, leaned in for a kiss, and - oh. No wonder Lorne liked kissing. Kissing him was like fucking, bodies rocking together, hands roaming, tongues twining. John slid his hands down, grabbed Lorne’s ass, yanked their hips together, and he felt it - Lorne was hard against his thigh.

John kept kissing him, tasting his mouth, nibbling at his lips, and then he felt Lorne go rigid against him, his grip on John’s arms bruising, and he was coming. John held him tightly, felt him trembling through the aftershocks.

When it was done, Lorne pulled back, wincing a little bit at his messy uniform, but he smiled at John. “See?”

John was incredibly turned on, still hard. “Yeah, I see. Just - whoa. That’s intense. What happens if I kiss you again?”

“I’ll come again.”

“Really?”

Lorne nodded.

“Is there some kind of...limit?”

“You’d think there would be, wouldn’t you?” Lorne stepped back. “Gotta go clean up. Later, sir.”

And he was gone.

John dragged him to the next game of Spin the Bottle.

“This is going to get incredibly messy,” Lorne protested. “That’s why I prefer to be naked and in a bed when kissing is going on.”

Chuck, bless his pervy little heart, had arranged for a mattress in the common room where they played.

“Oh,” Lorne said, and immediately peeled out of his uniform. He went and sat on the mattress, cross-legged, like everyone else in the circle. Radek handed him a box of tissue.

Rodney rubbed his hands together gleefully, set an empty bottle sideways on the floor. “All right, who spins first?”

Cadman, grinning at Lorne, said, “Me.”

Lorne wasn’t kidding. His body really had no limit. But kissing him and watching him come was definitely fun.

It was Ronon who thought to ask, “Can you actually have sex?”

Lorne lay back. “Climb on top and find out.”

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the lyrics to the song Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend.


End file.
